On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
