At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
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