Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
