I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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