Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
