your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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