Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
