That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
