And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize