the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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