I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
bring money and cleavage
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
