Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
