Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
