Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Fuck appropriateness.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I will be naked everywhere
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
