i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
