This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
