Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
