The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
