Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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