my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
my being single is dangerous.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
