oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
