He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
