Your face is a jimmy john
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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