Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
