That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
