I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
