he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
