I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
