kristin has been a bad kristin
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
