dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
