in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
