dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
