What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
