i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
