If i could tip my vagina, i would.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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