it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Boobs speak an international language.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Randomize
