ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
