I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I have feelings that need drinking.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
