Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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