I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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