and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
