Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
