Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
