I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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