There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
