Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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