It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
