Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
