I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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