I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize