Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
