Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
