If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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