based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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