Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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