I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
