she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
