she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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