party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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