I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I take back everything I said about communal showers
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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