When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
You have to summon your inner elephant
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
These tits shall not be calmed
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
