in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
You've changed since you got that strap on
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
