Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
