wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Randomize
