why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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