So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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