I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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