I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
